Are we in a gay sports bar?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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