hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
