you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
This is classic penis vs brain.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
