So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
i think im in europe. pls send help
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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