super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
