I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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