The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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