But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I think your dad took our porno
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
