Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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