I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
