I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
