hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
