It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
