She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
