get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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