We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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