Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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