I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
