ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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