my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
