did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
