why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
