hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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