The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
