They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
