Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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