My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize