I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
