perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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