well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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