there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
No subtext here. People are naked.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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