I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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