That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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