i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Randomize
