She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
