I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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