i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
