I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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