Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Found your dick twin last night
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize