You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
