i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
