Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
