she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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