I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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