summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
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