I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
