but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Randomize
