If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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