this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
