put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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