she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize