just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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