i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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