You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
