I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
