We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
