Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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