as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
