Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
