If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Just invented taco cereal.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
