They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
