I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Found your dick twin last night
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
