If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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